As you can see, this blog has laid dormant for a long time. I apologize for that! Almost 5 years ago, I walked away from all of my financial securities and everything I had known to follow God’s calling on my life. During that journey, as I searched fervently for God’s direction and would excitedly share those things that I knew God was saying to me with others, people I knew and people that I only had a brief interaction with would tell me that my story was inspirational. Having heard this over and over again, I knew this was God’s way of telling me that He wanted to use my story (His story really) to impact other people’s lives and hearts.
As I explained this to a coach I was working with 5 years ago, right after walking away from everything I knew, she said I needed to purchase the website and start a blog. So I did, even though I didn’t have clarity in my mind about how exactly I would use the blog since I hadn’t even written the actual Modern Day Noah book yet. I wasn’t sure if I should write the book out on the blog and then turn it into the book. I wasn’t sure if I should just start telling my story from day one of leaving my financial security, etc. The only thing that I knew for sure is that I wanted the blog to be REAL. I didn’t want people to feel like I was preaching at them. I wanted to be sure that people knew that just because you’re following God’s will for your life doesn’t mean you have it all together and you never have a problem. I wanted the readers to know that people who know and follow God don’t live in an alternate reality from the rest of the world. And I wanted people to really, really get that we are all put here for a very specific purpose – and when you live out that calling on your life, it’s the most amazing thing you’ll ever do!
Because I didn’t feel like my story had that big ending that people would be looking for, other than walking away from all of my financial security and walking head on into my insecurities, I became somewhat paralyzed about where to begin writing. And although I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God wanted me to tell my story, I began battling with my own fears and insecurities. Who cares about my life? Who am I to think my story is so darn important? Why would I think I could make such a big impact? And so on and so forth. Yet, I knew that telling my story and writing this book, was God’s direction for my life.
Early in my relationship with God and church, I learned that Satan battles hard against those that walk around making a big statement for God. Granted, he makes everybody’s lives miserable, but especially those that are trying to point people to the hope of Jesus Christ. Why? Because he wants to silence them before they share the hope and love of Christ with too many people. I remember so clearly watching people at the first church I attended succumb to this battle. They were always the ones everyone noticed, the high profile people. The ones that were making the biggest impact. They were the preachers and the parishioners that were making a dramatic positive impact on the church and those that were exuberant about serving God and the church.
I remember one couple that took over running the youth ministry. They had great ideas for growing the group and connecting the youth within the group – and they were making a huge impact on all of the kid’s lives and relationships with Christ. Little by little, I watched as their lives began to slowly unravel. She began struggling with depression. I remember watching her trying this medication or that medication. The drugs had an obvious impact on her and she slowly became less and less involved in the church. Within no time, this couple that had been married for at least 15-20 years were getting a divorce. The youth ministry fell apart as their lives fell apart. Satan’s attack on these 2 wonderful people had successfully silenced them and killed any hope of them continuing to impact other’s lives for God. I could tell you many, many stories like this where Satan attacks those who are making the most noise for God with a vengeance. And that is what he has done with me for the past 5 years.
As I mentioned, when it was officially time to start writing the book (when I quit my other “real” full time job), I immediately began struggling with confusion about where and how to start writing and so I just didn’t. Slowly but surely, every insecurity I had became bigger and bigger. I began struggling with social anxiety and little by little I withdrew from everyone and everything I was involved with. Within a year, I spent most of my days alone with no interaction at all with anyone but my clients. Social anxiety caused me to be paralyzed at the thought of interacting with others. My weight went through the roof and unfortunately still is. That furthered my desire to hide away from others. All the while, I knew exactly what was happening. I knew Satan was trying to silence me from sharing the amazing story of how knowing and following God has impacted my life. I hated that Satan was successfully silencing me. But yet, I just couldn’t shake it.
My organizing business, Simplified Living Solutions, has been so successful that I am constantly busy with that. Although it’s a good problem to have, I know that it has been one of the biggest things that has kept me from writing this book and sharing my story. In August, I ended up flat on my back for about 3 weeks with a broken rib and strained back. I had to cancel every single client session I had for about 2 months. Although I hated letting down all of my clients, I secretly was thrilled to have everything come to a screeching halt. I also knew that while others might have seen this situation as a negative thing – money lost, letting clients down, etc – I saw this as a blessing and as God shaking the heck out of me and saying DO IT! I was thrilled that through this injury, He helped me take back control of my life in this way. I needed rest and I needed an opportunity to get myself refocused on Him. Thankfully, 2-1/2 months later, I am clearer on what matters most and have begun battling my social anxiety harder and moving back into relationships with people. So, today begins the official start of me making this book and blog my main priority. I hope you’ll follow along with me and that you’ll be inspired. And I hope that you’ll pray for me when you have a chance. I know my story is a strong, inspirational message of hope that many people need to hear. I just pray that enough people cover me in prayer so that Satan doesn’t succeed in silencing me again. Buckle your seat belt. Tray tables up. We’re taking off and I can’t wait!