Monthly Archives: July 2014

We’re Not Promised A Tomorrow

One of the biggest battles I had when it came to quitting my job was that I had already invested 26 year there and only had 3 1/2 years to go until I could retire with a great pension check coming in every month for the rest of my life. It seemed so foolish not to wait it out after sticking it out there as long as I already had. Nobody does that!

On top of that, I’ve always been a very responsible person that does what I need to do and what I am supposed to do without any regard to how I feel about it. I had two children that I had to support solely on my own and so there was no room for questioning whether to continue working there or not regardless of how miserable it made me. I considered myself a “lifer”, like a prison sentence.

But once I realized about 15 years ago that we were all put here for a reason, for a purpose that is much bigger than ourselves, I’ve had a different perception of life and what it is supposed to look like. And it’s made just doing life status quo much harder for me. For the first 25-30 years of my life I focused all of my energy on just merely surviving this thing they called life. I was so consumed by the hurt, pain and confusion from all of the injustices bestowed upon me in my early life that I couldn’t see or feel anything past that. I was doing life from a reactive place not a proactive place, from a victim mentality. I didn’t realize that we could create our own lives!

1621956_10152231808375699_1402566796_n

As soon as I understood that we have the power to create the life we want to live, it was much harder to sit in a job that I detested. From the minute I opened the doors to my organizing business, Simplified Living Solutions, and the phone started ringing off the hook, I’ve battled with staying where I was. Every time I would remind myself how lucky I was to have such a great job with wonderful benefits and I only had 3 1/2 more years to go, those thoughts were quickly met with thoughts of how I want to live my life now, not later. What if I didn’t live long enough to do it after I retired? We’re not promised a tomorrow. I knew with such a strong gut feeling that I didn’t want to leave this life without feeling like I had lived it to its fullest. I didn’t want to take a chance that tomorrow may never come.

I don’t mind working at all, I actually like it. So I knew that if I had to, I could always go back to working a “real job”. But I knew I had to take this leap of faith because I loved the feelings that helping others get organized gave me (in addition to what it gave them). I loved the satisfaction of knowing that I had made a positive difference in someone’s life and I loved encouraging people and reminding them of their greatness. I loved knowing that I was making a positive difference in the world in which I live, rather than merely surviving it. Life wasn’t meant to just survive, we are meant to thrive in it! That’s what I’d like to help more people understand earlier in life than I did so they can get to work living their life to the fullest!

Make Someone Happy

The Dog I’ll Never Forget

When I was about 12 years old, I was walking home through my subdivision from a friend’s house. I remember passing by a dog that was barking incessantly and angrily at me from behind a wooden fence. For some reason, I have always had a fear of dogs and so I was practically running by the fence when somehow, the dog broke through the fence and attacked me. I still have a small scar on my leg from it.

I can’t say with 100% certainty that this incident is why I never really cared for dogs, but I’m sure it played into it. You know those people that tell stories about their dog’s personalities or the cute things their dog did? While listening to those stories never bothered me, I have never understood those types of things about dogs. Nor did I ever find the stories cute or entertaining.

Needless to say, when I remarried and my husband brought home a brand new puppy for my daughter to help her through the transition without even asking me, I was livid. I was already having a hard enough time adjusting to a new marriage, a new home, 3 more kids, their existing dog, a couple of snakes and lizards, my older daughter moving out and living way out in the country with the ex-wife that lived what seemed like only a block away.

Tyson

Of course, the responsibility of taking care of the dog fell on me. I fed him, took him out for walks, trained him and took him to the vet. And I resented all of it. That is, until he slowly but surely stole my heart. Tyson didn’t do any of the irritating things that other dogs did like barking, jumping on people or licking. I began enjoying watching his little antics. I began seeing his personality and being able to understand what he needed or wanted. I knew when he wasn’t feeling well. I knew everything about him. And I absolutely loved everything about him!

I’m not proud to admit that my marriage didn’t last very long, but it didn’t. What was amazing to me about it though was that from the first day my husband and I separated, Tyson climbed up into my bed and slept next to me where my husband had always been. It was as if he realized that I needed him to fill that void. He had never once tried to sleep in the bed before. With Tyson, for the first time in my life I was able to understand why people shared those silly stories about their dogs. I was able to understand that dogs do all have their own personalities and that they are able to communicate with you in their own way. I also understand now why they say that dogs are man’s best friends.

When my life was completely out of control about 2 years ago because I was working constantly and had way too much on my plate, I asked the person that we bought Tyson from if she would be willing to take Tyson back – at least temporarily. We know her very well and I didn’t feel uncomfortable asking her this at all. I knew she loved him as much as I did. At that point, both of my kids were living with me, 2 dogs were living with me and a baby was living with me. There was way too much chaos. Since I didn’t feel like I could ask my other daughter to get rid of her dog, I saw Tyson moving out as something I had to do to simplify my life. It was a very, very difficult decision but I knew He would be well taken care of and loved immensely.

Within the first year of them taking Tyson, he had some type of brain aneurysm and died. I was devastated and heartbroken. However, I was also thankful because I realized that God allowed all of this to happen to protect me. I would have never been able to handle seeing this happen to Tyson. I would have been paralyzed and not known what to do. I would have 100% completely fallen apart.

It’s been a year or so since Tyson died. My life has done a complete 360 and I am now living completely alone as opposed to having everyone under the sun living with me as I did at the time I let go of Tyson. I think about him often and have toyed with the idea of getting another dog. But I keep being reminded there will never be another Tyson. And for that, I am very, very sorry. 🙁

Tyson Old

Don’t You See, We’re All Jacked Up?

There is nothing I love more than sitting down and having a real heart to heart conversation. The minute I meet someone, I want to know everything about them. I want to get deep inside their soul. I want to know about their lives, what makes them tick, what makes them who they are. I want to know about their hardships, their victories and how those have impacted who they have become. I love, love, love psychology and I think that’s why I find exploring everyone’s lives to be so fascinating.

Interestingly enough, because of this curious, direct and non-threatening quality of mine, people tell me things they have never told anyone else. I know that they do that because they feel “safe” with me because I am sharing the same type of information about my life with them. I have no secrets and often share stories of my challenges and how they have made me into who I am today to encourage and inspire others. Many times I share how those very challenges turned into blessings in disguise.

Blessings in Disguise

Throughout my life I have always gotten the impression that being an “open book” was not a good quality. However, I don’t seem to have the skill set to do life any other way. I’ve never understood why we wouldn’t all be an open book. Why wouldn’t we want to share our burdens, hardships and victories with one another to encourage, support and educate each other? Why wouldn’t we want to just be honest with ourselves and others?

I have found that by being completely open about who I am, why I am who I am – in addition to my own personal challenges and victories – that I have been able to help and encourage others. It has allowed others to feel safe enough to lower their guards and just speak their own truth without hesitation. I sincerely believe that is one of the main purposes of Modern Day Noah – to share my journey in a completely honest and vulnerable way including my own imperfections and insecurities, but with the ever resounding “they’re not going to knock me off course” attitude so that others are encouraged to go after their dreams with that same resolve.

You Make The Choice

Do you realize that there is not one among us that is perfect? Do you realize that we’ve all had our fair share of heartache, pain and hardships? Do you realize that each and every one of us is “jacked-up” as a result of those things? Admit it. I’m jacked up, you’re jacked up. But the reality is that if we are open enough to look closely at the situation, we can find the blessings from the pain we’ve experienced and use it for good.

As I mentioned in another post, I was sexually abused several times by several different men. Would I like to have that horrible, horrible experience again? Heck no! Did I see it as a blessing when it happened? Heck no! But when I look closely at it, I’m able to be thankful (well if I’m being 100% honest, I’m only a little thankful) that it happened because it has helped to shape me into the person I am today. Because of those experiences, I truly understand pain. It has given me a compassionate heart that wants to help and encourage the hurting. I understand how it feels to have your own feelings and needs ignored – trampled on. I understand the impact that pain is having on them. I understand what they need to feel built back up again. I am able to use my own painful experiences to help others change the direction their life is heading in a positive way. For that, I am thankful.